At age 28, I found myself at the crossroads of personal desire and societal expectation. In Kozhikode society, where I was born and my grandmother still lives, remaining unmarried beyond a certain age often invites scrutiny and concern. My grandmother, embodying the collective anxiety of our community, grew increasingly anxious about my marital status. Her concerns mirrored a broader cultural narrative that equates marriage with stability and respectability. 

Kozhikode, the coastal city where Vasco da Gama first arrived on the Malabar shore in 1498, long before the idea of a unified India existed, has for centuries been a crossroads of trade, culture and faith. Today it remains a tapestry of diverse religions and traditions, where arranged marriages are still deeply rooted in family and community expectations.

To better understand the practice of arrranged marriage, I followed the lives of three young women - each of a different faith and each at a different stage of the marriage process. Their journeys revealed to me the delicate balance between choice and duty, and offered an intimate glimpse into a tradition that continues to shape identities and futures.

(This project called ‘Marriages are Made in Bureaus Heaven’ was supported by a grant from the University of Oslo.)